by Robert Gently

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A creepy album for creepy people.

::2017 edit: I don't really condone a lot of the audio quality and recognize that it, especially in regards to the vocals, is a huge detriment to a lot of these recordings and stops them from being particularly listenable. A lot of the samples I recorded over a lap top microphone, which results in the compressed sound that generally prevails through the album. The lyrics also occasionally make me cringe in retrospect, especially on tracks like Vantage Point and Silence and Celibacy, which don't come-off self-aware enough to compensate for the shear melodrama of them; the total absence of progression or accompaniment in those songs doesn't help, either. In short, my knowledge of recording and mixing were both lacking, and my songwriting didn't necessarily make-up for it. That being said, I still find tracks Skeleton King and Bluebird of Freedom in particular to be surprisingly listenable despite the wide number of drawbacks this album faced, and will keep the album up here as an account moreso than out of a belief that it qualifies as quality entertainment. I may revisit some of these songs to give them better versions, but I doubt I'd ever go through and redo the mixing as I find that sort of living-in-the-past to be somewhat nauseating.::


released June 22, 2015

All lyrics written, all music composed and produced, and all occasional solos (piano, harmonica, guitar) performed by Robert Gently. All vocals performed by Robert Gently, except for in track 10, where singer / songwriter Erika Bedwell provides accompaniment. The majority (?) of Erika Bedwell's music can be found here;
All songs produced in Linux Multimedia Studio, which is an opensource program that can be found here;



all rights reserved


Robert Gently Richmond, Virginia

Robert Gently was born on a cold and silent day in 1993. Raised in captivity, Robert learned to walk approximately 20 years later than the average child and was deemed to have developmental issues. Unable to express himself through walking, Robert spent his formative years developing his enjoyment of music and performance art. ... more

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Track Name: Sinner
Crawling out the shadows,
Mischief smile, limp limbs,
Broken bones, beaten dog crawl,
Hands and feet, spit in the sink.
New boy broke immaculate,
Sell him for wine and sheep skin,
Throw him in the cart and
Whip him like an evil child.

Mud brains; worthlessness
Gun stains; humanless.
Ice teeth, glass bones
Nomads know no homes.
Wicked blood thirsty you,
Dressed up with horn and claw
If I could run fast enough
I'd run from you all.

I'm scared of the dark,
The way its poison penetrates my brain,
It holds my head to its heart,
Promises I won't sleep again.
Everyone's an ice sculpture,
Shaking 'round in an earthquake.
You watch them teeter back and forth,
Just hoping that they won't break.

It comes forth in storms,
Holds its victims on a leash.
I held on tight as I could
But the wind dragged you away from me.
And the pale, empty air
Fills up every day.
I sit, drunk and smiling
Watching faces fade away.

There's an angel in a dresser
Unobtainable to me.
There's a light in the promised land
Mine people shall not see.

Please. Don't. Spill. Me.
Track Name: Vantage Point
I can watch sitcoms and smile,
I can watch things blow away.
I can sit in front of a television
And decompose all day.
I can walk with my shoulders back,
Like a respectable man should.
I can punch a hole in a wall,
But it doesn't do much good.
I can eat half my own weight,
I can drink expired milk.
I can sit on my ass all day,
Jacking off in my own filth.
I can alienate my friends,
Wave to strangers as they pass,
I can guzzle down each drop of liquor
Like I wish it was my last.

I wanna ask you how it feels
To be someone's last hope,
To be the only thing that keeps them
On the right side of the rope.
Is it draining for you?
All that you must have to go through?
To tolerate this vermin in your view.
An ungrateful wretch writhing in what its spewed.

Well if you could come here.
There is something I'd like to show you, dear,
The looking glass through which I cast my leer.
Met with neither wet nor wipe for years.
See, this here is the view
From the window in my room
Of all the poison, pox and gloom
Which I've witnessed since the womb.

It displays to me the whole mass,
My whole species of sick sociopaths
The likes of whom deserve no more than wrath
All contained behind this fragile glass.
Cuz this here is the zoo,
To be witnessed only from a safe view
Of the all the death, destruction, and doom
That I've grown accustomed to.
Track Name: Skeleton King
Skeleton King,
He was thrice the size of me
Had a sword the length of a shark,
And little knives for teeth.
He had a great, big ship
That sailed the seven seas.
His crew got drunk each night
And danced around on choral reefs.
I drugged her up and
I took her home.
I locked her in a room
And watched her die alone.
Shoved a pencil up her cunt,
A knife into her throat.
Boiled the meat off,
But made sure to save the bones.

So I wound up on
Skeleton's ship
Held to the wall by nails run
Through shoulder, hand and hip.
They had some problems
With wayward looters.
They put me on a leash
And sicked me on intruders.

What do you want
When you want what you've got?
And what you've got's yourself?
But its still not enough?
Cuz there's rubies and emeralds
And diamonds and rings,
But there's still no flesh
On the Skeleton King.

I watched them dance right
Beneath the moon,
Dressed themselves like snakes,
Possums, foxes, and raccoons.
On some foreign sea,
Far too far from home,
They hung me in the gallows
And watched me die alone.
Track Name: How to Stare Forward
(Ah. . . Ah. . . Ah-- Ah, ah, ah. . .)
Track Name: Bluebird of Freedom
I festered in this choral reef,
Forever yours cordially,
I could kiss you,
All the folks you killed for me.
I saw my brother on his knees
He was puking in the sink
I thought I screamed but its
Not like you could've heard me.

Then, I was a dumb kid,
No one would've looked for me.
My blue bird of freedom at its peak.

I snatched your bird right out the air,
What would you care? It was right there
I up and burned off all your hair.

I was born in a choral reef,
I crawled ugly right out the sea
I could kiss you,
All the folks you killed for me.
A miscarriage meant to be
I thought sex was bad for me.
I was better when you met me.

Its so frightening can't you see?
God's sent lightning bolts for me.
Can't you come protect me?

I snatched your bird right out the air,
What would you care? I was right there;
There was fire ravaging my hair.

I died and burned in Hell
And you could smell my
Pieces getting grilled.
I haven't a friend that I haven't killed.

I festered in this choral reef,
Forever your's cordially,
I could kiss you,
All the folks you killed for me.
I saw my brother on his knees
He was puking in the sink
I thought I screamed but its
Not like you could've heard me.
Track Name: Spanky
I saw you standing by the phone,
I saw that you were all alone,
I saw you standing by the phone. . .

And so I blew your head off with an AK-47
Compliments of contradicting concepts of greater Heaven.
I will never get a blow job from the girl behind the counter
So I'll decimate all you sick fucks and weep alone forever.
I am twice the man that you have been,
A God from within a garbage bin,
I'll craft my raft of serpent skin
And all that sleeps and stings within.
I've had my plans all laid askew,
My poison tongue has come unglued,
But before I am fully screwed,
I come face to face with you.

And so I blew yr head off with an AK-47
Compliments of constitutional co-ordinates of contraception.
I will never get a handy from your dear old dad in gym shorts,
So I'll desecrate the demons known as you and your cohorts.
I have spent my life swept in with swine,
I maul and masticate my kind,
Leveling all that falls behind
Tragically choking on the rinds.
All good things grotesquely gleam,
The lure of lust and lucid dreams.
But for these sins of which I've screamed
I shall never be redeemed.

And so I blew my head off with an AK-47
Compliments of the castration of cantankerous, cranky old men
I will never get a rim job from any Roman Gods or Goddesses
So I'll instead seek to eliminate all you sentient cysts and abscesses.
I've sacrificed my sovereignty
For piousness and poverty
The lunatics who laughed at me
Now lap up what is left of me.
The drum beats on within my brain,
This carnage I can not sustain.
But despite my turmoil and pain
I celebrate a musical refrain.

So I'll blow all your heads off with an AK-47
Compliments of catastrophic consequences of my conception.
I will never get a blow job from the girl behind the counter,
So I will instead find my pleasures in more alien endeavors.
I yearn each night to run my teeth
Through the devils who've put me on this leash.
This battered body I bequeath
Now lays face down on the street.
I float above my failing frame
A sloven thing so sadly slain.
The folks from whom I float away
In three years won't recall my name.
Track Name: Silence and Celibacy
Are too many people around, I feel.
I propose an end to all war.
Like birds given aspirin,
We'll feed them,
Til they'll be fed no more.
I have found a viable solution,
In spontaneous combustion.

You could all be free,
If you'd just listen to me.
Why can't you all see?
There is virtue in silence and

Declare a new tax
To fall solely on the backs
Of those, whom I alone,
Perceive as giving nothing back.
Why should I be responsible?
For the many people
On too low an IQ level
To grasp the inevitable, that yes. . .

Should be a new law,
Declaring a minimum
To the amount of exercise
That's given to one's jaw.
And it should be illegal
To advertise to people
Things of a uselessness
That's damn-near lethal.

There shall be no more prophets,
Or marionette puppets,
Or conversations
Longer than a couplet.
And murder should be legal
So long as it can be shown
That the victim
Was adequately guilty
Of not getting it, that. . .

Will pay for his sins
Against me and my friends,
The few stuffed animals
Left alive in my bed.
You should all feel guilty,
Like you've done something wrong.
You'll be untying me from the rafters
Before long.
Track Name: The Last Man on Earth
I am the little boy
Who followed you through the woods,
The mosquito to the lamp
The bird hid in the bush.
I can only live
through you.

Manic and rude and nothing like you,
A boy from a jar with a head full of screws.
Vile and small, full of bile and booze.
Manic and rude and nothing like you.

When I was young
I pretended to drown,
Waving 'round my arms
Until I was found.
But no one saw me fall,
And no one heard me scream.
And ever since that day
I'm drowning in my dreams.

There are no holes I fit through,
No exit big enough,
No sun through the window,
No life left in dust.
I am the last man on Earth.
Track Name: The Conception of Judas
(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas will be televised to everyone,
Every boy and girl.
(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas will be the show of the century,
The greatest show in the world.

From this moment on you are cursed!
Your world will turn in reverse!
You'll be lower than dirt,
And you won't even know that it hurts!

(Help help!)
From this moment on you'll refer to yourself
Only in the third person.
(Help help!)
You'll be the sad shell of a used man who
Should've been an abortion.

You'll be the king of the stars,
Raising Hell in fast cars.
You'll have lost all your class,
And we'll be feeding you trash.

I have the strangest desire to consume
All that coexists within my room.
I have the oddest urge to be survived
Only by the last man alive.
I wish to desecrate, inseminate, and eliminate
All that is sick and ill in your culture,
And when you are weak on your knees
I will be above, in roll of the vulture.

You've kept me down here
For the last hundred years
In a dark, dusty room
Filled with nothing but gloom.
And you gave me pills,
Bibles and books,
But they've all made me ill,
They were all made by crooks.
You've aborted me
Most mercilessly,
Left my pudding brains
Out for carnivores' teeth.
And I've been seldom stirring,
But often plotting,
What is not moving
Is oft-times rotting.
History atests to this;
A good trait's a good fist,
And I've been stock piling arms
With intentions to harm,
And when I crawl back,
I'll be holding an axe
And we can debate semantics
Like we're both lumberjacks.

And did you ever think of me?
Did you feel bad for what you've done?
Cuz they never cried for me,
And I never had no fun.
Plants under brush
Will still grow toward the light.
Babies never born
Scream for life.

(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas was a sham,
It was a monkey dancing in a cage.
(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas was the only relic
Of an otherwise dark age.
(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas was a man,
Tired, hungry, and alone.
(Help help!)
The Conception of Judas was a tragedy;
An empty room with a phone.

Nothing will now be the same!
You won't remember your name!
You'll be a head on a plate!
Now crushed beneath your own weight!

You'll be hated by all!
With nowhere left to crawl!
A congregation of tears!
Worn down by the cruel years!
Track Name: Sun Was Evil
God has killed me and every friend in town
Now, all nothing more than scraps of meat on the ground.
There lies Sam, with the stereo on his head.
There lies Alex, with the worms run through his bed.
And there lies Ian, who wished he'd just been aborted.
And there lies David, who wished he'd just been aborted.
And there lies young Ryan, who wished he'd just been aborted.
And there lies Jeremy, who wished he'd just been aborted.

I'll miss the comfort of the warm Summer's air,
I'll miss the comfort of your hands pulling my hair.
I'll miss the rock in my shoe, the thorn in my side,
The reflections of you in my eyes. . .
(In my eyes,) In my eyes,
(In my eyes,)
You were always in my eyes.

Clara the Rabbit has been raped by the wolves.
Delirious now, she tries to find her way out the woods.
Grasping for balance, she falls into a thorn bush.
Another mark to the fur, another scuff on the hooves.
A child has died today, and on her knees his mother prayed.
And though she wished it all away, it seems now its here to stay.
The glass has been broken, and it will never be together again,
And so on that child's grave, I sing this song for him. . .

(We all pretended we were glass jars full of water,
On a windowsill with light shining through.
And though the wind would shake us,
The sky could never take us
Into the blue)

The glass has been broken and it will never be together again.

And when the bow breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, the cradle and all.